


Every Time I Close My Eyes

by FaintlyMacabre



Series: Bad Things Happen Bingo [3]
Category: The Penumbra Podcast
Genre: Dreams and Nightmares, Dreams vs. Reality, F/F, Gen, Junoverse | Juno Steel Universe, Not Really Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-15
Updated: 2020-04-15
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:47:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23667115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FaintlyMacabre/pseuds/FaintlyMacabre
Summary: Memories of their last job on Baldur still haunt Buddy.
Relationships: Buddy Aurinko/Vespa
Series: Bad Things Happen Bingo [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1702642
Comments: 2
Kudos: 31
Collections: Bad Things Happen Bingo





	Every Time I Close My Eyes

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MrAudioDrama](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrAudioDrama/gifts).



> Nightmares and Buddy. Thank you so much for the prompt!

“I’m trying to hold them off, Bud, but— out in the open like this, I’ve got nothi— aaahh!”

“Vespa?” She pivoted on the bridge, already knowing what she would see: Vespa, clutching her side, swaying and staggering, her blaster having fallen uselessly by her feet. “Vespa darling, try to keep your balance. It’s only a few more steps and this is far too high to—” Another shot caught Vespa in the back, and she dropped to the very edge of the bridge and for a second Buddy thought she had enough time, she only needed a moment to reach out and—

But Vespa fell, too far, and disappeared the way she always did. Buddy called out to her, but her shouts were muted. Everything was. This time, she wouldn’t hear the shot that got her.

She waited, but it never came. Shots flew over her head, unnaturally silent, but none of them got close. This was her second chance, then, to do what she should have done all those years ago. She and Vespa weren’t meant to be apart, and she’d follow her now into hell itself if that’s what it took.

Buddy leapt. The fall took longer than she’d expected; she could think here, with the wind rushing by her, she could pick up details around her. Stained glass in the windows of highscrapers, cars below her… and the shattered body of Vespa Ilkay on a nearby roof.

“No!” Buddy cried, clawing desperately at the air, and now she was falling faster, faster—

Her arm struck something hard and she was shocked awake. She was in her cot, on the way back to Mars. Of course she was. She and Jet had successfully obtained a Curemother and they’d soon be done with this job. Everything was— well, not fine. But it was stable. It was as expected.

“Buddy.” Jet’s voice rumbled on the other side of the door.

“Come in, darling,” she called. She was sitting up, getting her breathing back under control, and honestly, a brief conversation with Jet was just what she needed right now.

“I heard you shouting,” Jet said, coming in and sitting in the chair next to the door.

“Yes, I suppose I was, wasn’t I,” she said. “I’m sorry to have disturbed you. Bad dreams. It’s over now.”

“No.”

“’No,’ what, dear?”

“It is not over,” Jet said. “Vespa died alone. You left her on Baldur, and you will kill her every time you close your eyes.”

“Jet?”

“It will never be over,” Jet said, his dark eyes unblinking and glassy and staring into her own. “She is dead and you are not. You will never see her again, except when you watch her die, every night.”

Buddy backed away from his words and his stare. Jet had never pulled punches with her, but this—

“Why are you telling me this?”

“Because it is true,” he said, and even as she scrambled back she never seemed to get any farther away. “You already know this, and you will never escape this knowledge, no matter how far you go.”

The hand she put out behind her didn’t land on the wall or the cot or anything at all, but her momentum carried her back and she fell into empty space.

“Buddy? Buddy!” No, no, not this again, please. She couldn’t watch her die again. “Buddy!” Narrow fingers stroked her hair, and she opened her eyes. Vespa was kneeling over her; the bedside lamp was dimmed and she could just make out the creases in her face created by time and worry. This wasn’t sixteen years ago. They were both here on their ship, both alive.

“Vespa,” she said, but that was all she could say.

“I’m here, Bud, I’m here.” Buddy reached for her and Vespa curled into her side, wrapping an arm tight around her and kissing her shoulder. “I’m not going anywhere.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!! If you'd like to request one of my unmarked squares for Bad Things Happen Bingo, I'm on Tumblr @princegabriel.


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